Monday, November 23, 2009

How Much is Too Much?

When you meet and converse with people online you have to take what they say to you with a grain of salt because we all know that not 100% of what they tell us is going to be true. Right?  There may be slight embellishments (like instead of winning $25 on their lottery scratch-off ticket they won $50) which is fine – we all do things like that now and then and really, no harm done, right? 

But when does the slight embellishment become too much?

When that $25 win becomes a $125 win?

When that new job as head sales clerk becomes manager of Radio Shack?

When that new boyfriend becomes a millionaire ready to whisk you off to parts unknown?

Where do you draw the line between embellishing to make yourself feel better and outright lying?

Because, as a writer, I’m all for a good story, even when I know your BS-ing me completely.  And trust me, I usually do know.  Now, I will admit to falling for some good ones, but normally, I can figure it out and separate truth from fiction. 

So, why do people push it?  Are they really that self-conscious?  Or are they just that self-centered that they don’t think anyone will dare to not believe what they say is true?  And while there are times I’ll read an e-mail and think, “Hmmm, are they giving me a load of crap again or did this actually happen?” too many times, I’m rolling my eyes and hitting the delete key without replying. 


Because your kid is not a musical prodigy.

Nor is he/she the hellspawn you say he/she is.

You are not so perfect that every last person around you, outside of your little intimate circle of friends, is worthless, useless or just plain stupid.

That woman you just met is not going to make you her personal cabana boy and treat you like her expensive little pet.

I’m sorry guys.  I know that these things do occasionally happen outside fiction novels, but I really seriously doubt that they’re happening to you.  Right now.  Just as you sit down to write/IM/e-mail me.  And if they are?  Just remember that I’m always taking notes, saving e-mails, and plotting my next novel… all at your expense.

Oh, and if you are one of those people that I mentioned?  I’m sorry.  I really don’t mean to hurt your feelings or pick on you.  I just had a talk with someone today who went way past the boundaries of believability (and trust me, my trust knows almost no bounds) and had to get it out.

However, if you are one of those people, you probably didn’t notice anyway.  You’re too busy pointing fingers (like everyone else) at another likely candidate.


~The Exasperated Crazy Lady

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Make my mouth happy.

And my tummy happy.

And my alter-ego happy when she’s writing.

Twizzlers are also my drug of choice.


I keep them at work for those days when I just want to quit.  Or for those times when I’m dragging and just cannot make a Starbucks run (no matter how close it may be to the office).  They get along just fine with my job files and my FedEx envelopes.


I also try and keep them within grasp at all times.  Oh, and before you comment on the state of my desk, just remember, it’s all the sugar’s fault.


However, this is the best part of the Twizzlers… the eating of them.

(Lilly?  Step awaaaaaaaaaaaaay from my desk drawer, k?)

~The Crazy Twizzler Lady