Friday, September 19, 2008

Pun Intended

 

Thank you, Robin...  And anyone who really knows me will tell you that, while I enjoy a good bad joke, I love nothing better than a bad pun.  Wonder if that's the Monty Python lover in me?

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and
got a little  behind in his work. 

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll
still be stationary. 

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and
was cited for littering. 

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in  Linoleum Blownapart. 

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it. 

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the
hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.' 

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off  the Grass.' 

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken
to a  hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse  said, 'No change yet.' 

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 

18. The short fortune -teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium, at large. 

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper
spray is now a seasoned veteran. 

20. A backward poet writes in-verse. 

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In
feudalism it's your count that votes. 

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a
taste of religion. 

23. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe
sects!

2 comments:

CaliGirlinVegas said...

These are so funny! I got funny looks from one of the boys as I sat here laughing. LOL

Robin Snodgrass said...

You're welcome! *G*