Wednesday, May 28, 2008


I am soooo irritated!

Yesterday, when Dad Boss was looking through the mail, he came across a form from the unemployment division. Opening it up, he discovered that it was from one of our former foremen. Now, I'm gonna call him 'Zook, because he's always reminded me of Bazooka from the G. I. Joe cartoons, so bear with me here.

'Zook left us right before Christmas last year to go to the union. He felt as if he wasn't being heard, that he was being taken advantage of, and just wasn't getting what he thought he deserved from the company. And to a point, I agree. This is a great company to work for, but they do tend to come down on you for things that aren't your fault or are beyond your control. And although they do try to take care of you, they often fall short. I mean, I've been here for over 10 ½ years and only JUST got my second week of vacation. See what I mean? In the long run, there are a lot worse companies out there to work for, but he needed more so he left. No harm, no foul, right?

Well, when Dad Boss read that he'd been laid off, he laughed. LAUGHED! Then, he began coming down on 'Zook about how he always complained, that it was always something, on and on and on. The thing that ticks me off the most? He OBVIOUSLY was a good worker and knew what he was doing because THEY made him a FOREMAN! If he was incompetent, they wouldn't have done that, would they? So, then Dad Boss decides to go SHOW everyone in the office that 'Zook had been laid off, accompanying it with 'And he thought he was going to make the big money with the union.' (We're open shop, so the union thing tends to get under the bosses skin)

Now, seeing the irony in his getting laid off is one thing, but taking joy in it? That's just wrong. Even if you don't like the guy (and I loved him, as you can tell), it's wrong to revel in his misfortune. Get real, you're 80 years old for cryin' out loud!

I'm just afraid to see what might happen if 'Zook reapplies to our company now. *sigh* I miss him, but I don't want him to go through this.


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Rain, Rain

Thought I'd torture you with a bit of bad poetry...

Rain, Rain

Rain, rain
Falls from the sky
Cleansing my soul
Opening my eyes

Grey skies
Lift my heart,
Make it fly high
While the storm comes

Rain, rain
Stay awhile
Hold me close
Make me feel

Cloudy days
Wet faces
Hide the tears
That fall like rain

Rain, rain
You make it work
Help it heal
Make it right

Take my tears
Mend my heart
Fix my breaks
Right the wrongs

Rain, rain
Falls from the sky
Cleansing my soul
Opening my eyes

Helping me believe
In a better day
A happy tomorrow
A life of promise


~The Crazy Lady and (one of) her alter ego(s), Mika Stevens

Guilty Pleasures

Okay, so I admit it. I have a lot of secrets that I keep from people. Mainly because they'd laugh. And I get enough of that as it is.

So today, I indulged myself in some of my favorite guilty pleasure - reading fanfic. Yup, you read that right - reading fanfic. G. I. Joe fanfic mostly, but I do venture into other realms when the fancy strikes me. What I won't tell you is that I've been writing my own fanfic for erm, too many years to count (pssst... at LEAST 20!).

*coughs and smacks the alter ego*

ANYway... I also indulged in yet another guilty pleasure last night... watching the finale of American Idol. I'm tellin' ya, that David Cook is one cutie pie supreme! I love his crazy bed head and all around rumpled look. Not to mention that VOICE!


LOL Sorry. I live for music and he really is good. Next up is my 8-year-old's guilty pleasure - So You Think You Can Dance.


Wednesday, May 21, 2008


And I've had some odd ones in my life (lately especially)… but last night takes the cake.

All I remember is Zan saying to me, "Just let me know when my socks are dead."


I guess that this is what I get for watching two hours of Bones followed by the two-hour season finale of NCIS.

~Your Confused Crazy Lady

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Why Do I Even Bother?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? I find that I've been asking myself this more and more often as the days go by.

I put 110% into everything that I do, and yet, I'm still found lacking by most. I work so hard to be the best wife, mother, sister, friend, employee, etc, that I can be and yet, it's never enough. I don't want a parade, I just want a little acknowledgement. Just a little something to show me that you've noticed that I'm here. That I'm trying.

I'm so disillusioned with everything in my life. I'm tired of being 'Mom' and doing all the work and getting none of the play time. I'm tired of being the one that everyone comes to with every little problem. Of being noticed only when someone is in need. I need to be needed, wanted, and all the rest. I need to be ME and not MOM or HONEY or EMPLOYEE. I need to be ME.

But that's not going to happen any time soon, I fear.

Add to that the fact that I've recently been handed something I don't want, and am not sure that I can handle anyway. But what do I do? I took this on, for the love of a friend, and now I'm stuck. I wouldn't feel so bad except she's the only person out there right now who can truly relate to how I feel. She wouldn't hold me to this, told me I didn't have to and even gave me the door to walk out of, but I feel like I should. Which is probably my first mistake… But I just can't help myself.

I just want out. Not out to a new life, but just out. Period.

Suppose I ought to check on dinner. No early out for me tonight.

~Your Saddened Crazy Lady