Thursday, April 10, 2008

Life Sucks

And depression is so much worse. I hate feeling like I have to be on the defensive all the time. I hate the lethargy, the worthlessness, the anger that comes with it all. I'm tired of always worrying if people are angry with me, being condescending, or just don't care. I'm. Just. Tired. Period.

And more than anything, I hate the fact that I feel like I'm not worth the effort to get myself help.

I know that's not true, and I know that I deserve to be happy. But every time I think about help, something else comes up. Right now, my doctor is an idiot, and before I go searching for a new one, I need to wait on my company to decide if they're going to change insurance companies or not. Our policy renews May 1st, so it'd be stupid to go find a doctor now, and wind up having to change.

That could be just another excuse, but I'm not sure yet. LOL

Anyway, I'll make it through, I always do. After all, I don't have any choice, do I? I've got kids, a husband, cats and hamsters that are all depending on me. And the hammies just can't go hungry. J

~Your Sad and Pathetic Crazy Lady