Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

(And thanks Beth, I think I'm having this kind of tree next year)

Anyway, this can be a rough time of year for a lot of people, especially if you're missing or have lost someone you love.  It's odd for me this year because I have been missing my father for the first time in many, many years.  When he died, we weren't on the best of terms, although he had made an effort.  He tore our family apart, and yet, I'll always love him.  Why?  Because he is who he is.  And because he, more than anyone I really know, has made me the person that I AM today.

But it's okay, Dad, I won't hold THAT against you.

I guess having a father that wasn't exactly Father of the Year material has helped in a lot of ways.  I persevere.  I get by until I can get through.  I try to be the very best wife and mother that I damn well can be.  I often fail miserably just when I'm needed most, but I put that foot forward and I DO IT, fail or succeed. 

And I hope that, if anything, that my girls can learn at least that much from me.  That I love them enough to stick my neck out and take chances just to enrich their lives.

So, I'm not the religious type nor am I the type to go on and on about what I'm thankful for, etc. I believe in telling those that you're thankful for that you ARE every time you can.  No need to make lists or shout outs over here.  I do my best and if that isn't enough, I doubt I'll ever make you happy. 

I believe in the season, pagan or not, I do believe. 

I also obviously believe in babbling because um, well, I do it rather well, don't I?

So, on that note:

Blessings_Fly_VD

Blessings, best wishes, and here's to another year full of good friends, better food, and the best books and music we can find!

~Your Favorite (admit it, it's true!) Crazy Lady thinking about butterflies in December...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged

1) Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?

2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas

3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And...........

5) Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are

6) Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us

7) Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why

8) Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire

9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

10) Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

11) Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe

12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus ... So I Burned Down the House

13) Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas -- While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate

And finally, a favorite...
14) Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!

Merry Christmas from your favorite delusional, mentally unstable Crazy Lady

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

No More

1-25-08 Butterfinger 001

No more small, fuzzy animals for me.  It breaks my heart every time I lose one of them.  Last night, I put Destiny back into her cage, gave her a treat and went to give one to Butterfinger as well.  He didn’t even stir when I opened the cage.  I knew then that something was wrong.

10-18-07 Hamsters 002

His little body was sooo cold, but he was still moving, but just barely so I sat and I held him until he didn’t move any more.  I don’t know what went wrong; he was fine Monday night, up and running in his wheel. 

12-09-07 Hamsters_sm1

Butterfinger lived with us for fourteen wonderful months.  I have no idea how old he was when we brought him home, but we enjoyed every minute we had with him.  When we took him home, we had been told that he’d been beaten up by another hamster and had been in ‘rehab’ (HA!  Hammie Rehab!).  And you know what?  For having been bullied and abused, he was the sweetest, most loving animal I have ever had in my life.  I’m going to miss him a lot. 

12-26-07 013

And even now, I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes because I just can’t lose another pet.  My poor battered heart can’t take it.  I just hope he knows how much we loved him and how badly I feel for not knowing there was something wrong.  My poor baby Butterfinger… Wonder if he’ll still be Jabba the Hamster once he’s over the Bridge?

~Your terribly sad Hamster-Loving Crazy Lady

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Cowboys and Margaritas

Gotta love National Finals Rodeo time in Las Vegas.  Cowboys.  Are.  Everywhere.  As an old boss of mine used to say, "You'll be driving down the Strip and all you'll see is a taxi full of hats."  And it's a beautiful thing.

Startin' Fires

I must admit, however, that my favorite part of NFR is all the cheap and free country concerts.  I swear, darn near every country singer is in town during these ten days.  And since there are so many shows, the prices drop like crazy!  Well, unless you want to see Big & Rich at the Hilton, but that's neither here nor there.

I had been thinking of seeing Gary Allan this year until Zan discovers something even better.  Blake Shelton.  At the Silverton.  And the best part?  Tickets: $35!  SCORE!  The only bad thing?  I had JUST seen him in Primm on October 18th with Miranda Lambert.  Zan shook his head at me a few times and insisted I buy tickets.  It's my Christmas present, but hello!  I can deal with that!

He just won't ever let me forget that in 2008, I have seen Blake THREE TIMES.  What?

So, we drop the kids off at Grandma and Grandpa's and come back home for a bit.  I fix lunch, and we watch the newest Batman movie to kill time.  Show time isn't until 10 PM because of the rodeo, but hey, this is VEGAS BABY, if you can't find something to occupy you in a town that never closes, you need serious help.

The Silverton Hotel & Casino is just on the outskirts of town, but not horribly far out.  So, we leave around 7 PM to go and have dinner and possibly cruise through the Bass Pro Shops while we're there.  On the ride out, we have a moment of panic.  I'd forgotten that the Silverton doesn't really have a venue for concerts.  In 2006, we saw Blake there for the first time... outside... by the pool.  Any other December day we'd have been fine with that.  But, for some bizarre reason, yesterday the temps dropped and 20 MPH winds moved in.  Great.  Just Great.

Thankfully, when we made out stop to pick up the tickets, the ever so kind gentleman at the counter informed us that the show was indeed outside, however, it was in a fully heated tend.  Thank you!  LOL  After grabbing the tickets, we went to a little Mexican restaurant for dinner.  I had some very yummy cheese enchiladas while Zan opted out for some carne asada-like tacos.  And that's when the drinking started... I had two margaritas with dinner.  Had I known they were going to forget to charge me for them, I'd have had another!

Since seating was general admission (and thus the ever-so-cheap ticket prices), we had to line up early.  But, we weren't all that concerned about having the 'best' seats, even if we wanted to be up close.  Doors opened at 9 PM and we headed out, stupidly, at 8:45.  We stood in the FREEZING cold wind for an hour waiting to get inside.  (Note to Blake: If you ever see this, know that THIS is proof that this desert rat LURVES you!)  However, the kind Silverton people let us all in at 8:45, which made me ever so happy (and my fingers too).

The show, as always, was great.  We had been second in line and got front row seats.  SCORE again!  Well, until everyone started rushing the stage. LOL  But even so, still could see great and he looked and sounded fantastic! 

Zan had ordered me another margarita while I was hanging at the goodie stand picking out my new t-shirt (a magenta baby doll with "Home" and an abstract design on it), so I was feeling no pain by the time the show started.  He did a first set of all his hits, including songs like "Home", "Austin", "Some Beach", his current single "She Wouldn't Be Gone" and my all-time favorite, "Playboys of the Southwestern World" (because, after all, this IS a song about best friends). 

Amidst a whole lotta whooping and hollering, he returned to the stage for a second set of country standards like "Redneck Girls" (a must for him it seems), "I Love a Rainy Night", "Driving My Life Away" (he was also on an Eddie Rabbitt kick, it seems), and John Anderson's "Black Sheep".  He finished it all up with what seems to be his favorite closing song, "Ol' Red." 

Zan loves to tease me about my Blake addiction.  He finds it utterly amusing that I moved from Tim McGraw to Blake.  He got the whole Tim thing, I mean, Tim is a mega star.  Blake?  Not so much.  But he has his loyal fans (BSers, how appropriate is that?) and constantly puts out some of the best music on the radio (when you can get the radio to play it... unless you have XM and they are the BEST!).  He may never reach Kenny or Tim status, but he is it for me.  And as a reaffirmation of just WHY I do love him so much, he cracked jokes, picked on himself, and messed with the audience all throughout the show.  My two requirements in a man are #1: honesty and #2: a sense of humor.  I have no doubt that Blake possesses both (shhh... and so does my Zan, in double measures).

So, if you ever get a chance to go see him, do it.  He puts on a rocking, fun-loving show that you will never forget.  And the smaller the venue, the better.  For more pics, go here, and feel free to leave a comment here or on the pictures.

I'm also guessing that right now is probably not the best time to tell you that we stopped at The Mermaid Lounge for another drink after the show... LOL  Yeah, I was nice and toasty by the time we returned to the safety of our own place.  But it was beyond worth it.  My man loves me and put up with yet another country concert for my benefit.  One of these days, I WILL make him into a fan.  :)

~TCB(lake)L

Friday, December 12, 2008

Huh?

Stolen from a letter sent to an injured employee from our worker’s comp claims administrator:

We are in receipt of your industrial claim filed on your behalf for the referenced body part.

Again, I say… HUH?  Can’t they say ‘for the referenced injury or incident’?  ‘For the referenced body part’ sounds like something out of a horror movie.  And a bad one at that.

LMAO.

~TCL

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Whew!

I'm tired!  And it's only just now 12:30.  LOL

So far this morning, I've made Oatmeal Scotchies and Blueberry Walnut Cookies (don't have the recipe up yet, sorry.  Keep checking here though).  I've also roasted some cashews for some fudge I'm going to make in a bit. 

At the moment, I have a chicken roasting in the oven for the chicken and noodles I'm making for dinner.  As soon as I can flip the bird (ha ha), I'm going to make some Pumpkin Pie Fudge and some Honey Nut White Fudge (hence the honey roasted cashews). 

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?  Well, it'd be better if I could keep all the vultures out of my goodies!  Wonder if I can sneak in a batch of barbecued mixed nuts too?

Okay, and now that it's taken me twenty minutes to type this... LOL  Off to make my fudge!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Yes, I am a College Graduate

<rant>

Okay… so I get a fax from a contractor asking for some changes to an invoice.  In this case, it means more money, so hey, I’m there. 

This is the note on the fax:

Retention needs to be bill in full before retention billing can be excepted. 

Huh?  Okay, bill instead of billed is probably just a typo.  I know I forget endings on words quite often.  But HELLO!  accepted NOT excepted!  What the hell is wrong with people these days?  It’s simple basic freaking vocabulary!

Or, am I expecting too much out of people?  If you’re going to work in a field where you will be sending out correspondence to other people PLEASE understand the basic concepts of grammar, punctuation and the ENGLISH LANGAUGE!

</rant for now>

The Crazy HTML mangling Lady who, by the way, never actually graduated college but does know the difference between their, there, and they’re.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Presents

I got a new book in the mail today.  The Warning Label Book by Joey Green, Tony Dierckins, and Tim Nyberg.

This book is stuffed full of REAL warning labels as well as some of the stories that spurred companies to add them to their products.  The best part?  The commentary that comes along with each warning label.

Found on the instruction sheet of a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:

WARNING: Do not use in shower.  Never use while sleeping.

And never blow-dry your hair while you're sleeping in the shower.

LMAO.

Here's your sign.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Kids and Their Mouths

So last night Zan decides I need a night off <insert eye roll here> and shouldn’t have to cook.  I’m immediately suspicious, but not overly so, we haven’t eaten in a restaurant in months. 

We’re outside and my younger child, Mischief, looks into the sky and stares at the sliver of moon visible.  She grins and says, “I can see the dark side of the moon!”  Zan and I stop in our tracks, laughing so hard that both children stare at us.  He accuses me of corrupting them with Pink Floyd and I deny it (I just never thought of it, to be honest).  What we think she meant was that she could see the dark part of the moon, but who knows with that kid.

Fast forward to the parking lot.  Driving in, I see a young woman in a prom-type dress and wonder if it might be Homecoming night, although it’s a bit late in the year for that.  Didn’t think too much on it until we’re getting out of the car and see two more girls dressed in similar dresses and a young man in a tux.  Something’s certainly going on.

We go in and have a seat.  Our waitress takes our drink orders and we wait.  As we’re sitting there, Zan starts to laugh and says, “Nope, not Homecoming.”  I look up and see a lady in a wedding dress come in with her entire wedding party.  Now I’m laughing.  I mean, we’re in an upscale bar-type restaurant. 

Princess is watching the bride intently and then frowns suddenly.  I ask what was wrong and she tells me the bride is creepy.  WHAT?  “Yeah, creepy, Mama.  Her make up and eye shadow and just creepy!”  Oh.  Mah.  Gawd.  LOL  I’m so glad they were quite far away from us. 

On a side note, I mentioned a certain someone coming to concert and Zan tells me to buy tickets.  Despite the tickets only being $35 each, I inform him that we’re just too broke with Christmas coming up and all.  Any other time, I could have worked it out, but not this time of year.  He tells me to buy the damn tickets.  He’s smiling and I can’t figure out why.  Finally, he spills.  He got his Christmas bonus.  So, I’m buying the damn tickets!  LOL

I’m so loved. LMAO.

~The Crazy Blake Lady (yet again this year)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Fugitives and Supergirl!

So, Thursday morning, Destiny, our little fuzzy white dwarf hamster, was out getting her exercise while Zan and I put together the two side dishes he promised his parents he'd make.  We put her up when we were ready to leave and didn't think about her until we got home later that night.

Friday morning, I got up and noticed she wasn't out and about like usual, but didn't think much of it.  She has an odd schedule.  Well, later Friday afternoon, I started to get concerned so I figured I'd poke around in her cage and wake her up, insuring she was okay.  Turns out, she wasn't in her cage. 

This discovery starts a mass search for the little fuzzy.  We can't find her anywhere, so we just try and calm down, knowing that Butterfinger, on the odd occasions he would get out, always returned.  So, I put her cage on the floor (did I mention that it was up on a coffee table?) and open the door, placing some fresh veggies on the inside to entice her home. 

Later that night, I saw a flash of white racing through the kitchen, but I didn't get to her before she disappeared.  Quick little brat.  So, Zan gets the brilliant idea to put out some food by where we think she disappeared.  Genius!  He gets bonus points for a change.  Well, his only mistake was leaving it too far away from the area she was hiding. 

She found the food and started munching this morning.  However, the cats found her and chased her back behind the refrigerator (I saw this time) and she climbed into a small hole behind the cabinets.  No wonder we couldn't find her!  So, I moved the food closer to her and waited.  I hung out, cleaning my kitchen and stuff, watching for her the whole time.  Eventually, she snuck back out.

Princess noticed her and caught my attention.  She was so busy stuffing her little pouches that she didn't even think to flee when I tried to pick her up.  So, after almost 2 days, Destiny is back in her cage, in solitary confinement.  She's happy though, running around and eating. 

So, where does Supergirl come into all this?

Destiny hadn't been back in her cage for more than twenty minutes when Zan comes downstairs.  He starts talking to the fugitive and to Princess, who was on the floor by the cage.  I'm over here at my computer when I hear, "You CAN get out that way you little brat!"  Since we had no idea how she got out, I jumped up from my computer chair, snagged my toes on the opposite pant leg and crashed to the kitchen floor.

Stupid ceramic tile.  Why'd I ever put that in anyway?

Sadly, my attempt at flying was more along the lines of The Greatest American Hero than anything else (and if you don't get that, you're too young).  But, did anyone really expect anything better out of me?  Zan just laughed when he saw I was okay, saying, "You look like one of those chalk outlines..."  He even offered to get the chalk for me...

Anyway, turns out that the little brat was escaping through a hole in the roof.  Her water bottle hung down from the top of the cage.  However, she's bigger than what Sasha was and had to contort herself to get water out of that bottle.  In an effort to help her out, I got one of the ones that hangs on the SIDE of the cage so I could adjust the height.  I never thought once that she'd climb her slide and make a break for it.  And that's what Zan meant - he saw her poke her head out and then heave herself through the hole.  I have since plugged the hole, once I was able to walk again. 

And now, she's pouting.  LOL

Heaven help me, it's only Saturday... still one day left for hell to break loose.

~TCL

Monday, November 24, 2008

Lies! All Lies! Plus a DOH!

Zan and I fell in love with Terry Goodkind way back in 1994 when Wizard’s First Rule initially came out.  So, when we read that there was going to be a mini-series of a sorts based on the Sword of Truth series, we were very excited.

The good: I think they’ve done a good job with the casting.  Richard’s not quite how I pictured him, nor is Zedd, but I think Kahlan is dead on.  I think the actors portray the characters accurately, even if they’re not written quite right. 

The bad: I think they took the idea of the original storyline and ran off the cliff with it.  Zan is driving me NUTS with his whining during each show about how this isn’t right and why’d they have to change THAT.  And, while I agree with him, he doesn’t have to KEEP WATCHING IF HE DOESN’T LIKE IT!  LOL

All in all, I’m enjoying it, changes aside.  One thing I have to give them uber props on is the fact that they did NOT water down Kahlan’s character at all.  She is still one bad ass bitch, and that makes me happy.  LOL

And now, are you ready for my big DOH of the week?  The middle of last week sometime, I smacked my left leg, just above and to the outside of my knee on our coffee table, giving myself a nice purple bruise.  Friday night, I smacked my right leg, right ON the knee on the same corner of the same table, giving myself yet another grapey bruise in almost the same spot as on my other leg.  I now have a nice matching set. LOL  THEN, Saturday, I park near one of those medians full of rocks at the grocery store.  Yeah, you can see it coming, can’t you?  Well, I’ve been congested for the last couple weeks, so my equilibrium has been of.  Yeah, more than usual, thanks.  The kids load themselves into the car and I’m loading the groceries when suddenly, I lose my balance and fall on my ass.  The left side, that is.  So, now I have three more nice bluish bruises (now with SCRATCHES!  Get yours today!) along my left calf, thigh, and butt cheek. 

You so want to be me, don’t you?

~Your Bruised Crazy Lady

Friday, November 21, 2008

ELEVEN YEARS!

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Holy crap, has it really been that long?  *checks calendar*  Yup, sure has.  November 21, 1997.  That was the day!

When I stop and think about it, I realize just how crazy it all is.  We met our sophomore year in high school in geometry class.  Started having lunch together and had our first date on May 25, 1991. 

I’ll never forget the night he first kissed me either.  A good friend of ours was pregnant and estranged from the father.  She was pretty beat down and wanted to have a bit of fun so she had the lot of us over.  When her parents kicked us all out, we went and drove to a quiet spot not far from my house.  Gave us a gorgeous view of Las Vegas and we talked and listened to music.  At one point, he looked up at the clock, saw it was close to curfew, and said, “Well, I guess I ought to kiss you so I can take you home.”  LOL  Classic Zan, I’m tellin ya. 

We moved in together shortly before his 21st birthday, either in April or May of 1995.  He ‘proposed' (and I put that in quotes because we were sitting in Zales, waiting to get approved for the rings we found and he says, “Gee, I guess this means I have to ask you now.”) about a year later.  Took us another year plus some to actually do the deed. 

There have been a ton of ups and downs in our almost-18-year relationship, including coming really close to calling it quits at one point.  But we persevered and I think we are stronger for it.  We struggle, sometimes a lot, but we’re always happy and content.  We have two beautiful, loving children who are the light of our lives and an ever-growing menagerie of animals that make our lives complete.  I often wonder how we made it so far and then I realize that it’s his patience and good humor that have carried us through.  I don’t know what I’d do without him.  Oh, wait… that’s right – I’d have peace and quiet, huh?  LOL  Just kidding honey!

It sounds cliché, but in our case, it’s the truth.  He IS my best friend.  He was my friend long before he ever became my lover, and I have a feeling he’ll be my friend long after the sexual aspect of our relationship ends.  And, in the end, that is what is most important.

And hell, he let me buy a Precious Moments cake topper with a cowboy on it, how can you NOT love a man that lets you do that?

~A not so crazy lady today

P. S. We’re pretty much broke these days so we don’t have any extravagant plans for tonight, however, he bought me the most hysterical card… it read: It takes 2 to make a marriage work.  You open it up and there are three martinis lined up along the bottom and it says: And in case 2 isn’t enough, have 3!  And now you know where ‘Blake’ gets his sense of humor from.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Early Morning Radio

I generally don’t listen to FM radio but since I still *looks angrily at the male half* don’t have XM in my car, I make due with what I have.  Generally, I just listen to my CD’s but every now and then, I’ll flip on the radio.  That’s what I did this morning.

The first thing I came across was two of our rock jocks discussing a man being caught with a prostitute… IN THE BACK OF HIS GARBAGE TRUCK!  My gods, how gross is that?  I came in sometime in the middle of the conversation, so I’m not sure if it was here or not, but it sure wouldn’t surprise me if it was. 

Afraid of what might be coming next, I switched stations.  Two more jocks, this time on a mix-type station, were discussing thing that would happen ‘only in Las Vegas’.  There were a few silly things said, but the one that made me laugh was this: a lady called in and said that every day she drives past this senior living center and it has a bright, neon sign saying ‘SENIOR LIVING CENTER’ on it.  Yeah, only in Las Vegas.  Although, the comment about the bride, in full gown, sitting at the slot machines made me laugh too, but mainly because you see that SO often.  Sad, but true.

So, while laughing over that, I changed stations again during the commercial.  Another set of DJ’s were talking about rudeness and whether it’s becoming a problem.  There was a survey that found 4 out of 5 people thought rudeness was indeed becoming a problem however, 99% of the people surveyed said that they do not believe they are rude.  Um, there’s something wrong there. LOL  Generally, I am NOT rude, but I know that I CAN be…  But yeah, I know, it’s never YOU is it?  It’s always the OTHER guy…

And lastly, Shana… I heard yours and Allyson’s theme song on the radio this morning.  Or, rather, one of them.  And I laughed until I cried.  See, my BFF has been through all of Ali’s changes in personality and temperament over the years and every now and then, a certain song from my past will come on the radio and I’ll just start to laugh.  And only she knows why.  Is it crazy that a song will take me back to something that never actually happened?

Oh, and the song was Secret Lovers by Atlantic Starr.  Others that do this to me are If She Would Have Been Faithful by Chicago, Gonna Buy Me a Dog by the Monkees and *coughs* nearly anything by Nelson.  Just thinking about Matthew and Gunnar makes me blush and laugh.  Damn, Ali!  I miss those days…

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Interesting

Sorta.

  • The average man can keep an erection for around 40 minutes, even though he might not last that long. The average woman takes about 20 minutes to climax from oral sex.

There’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m too tired to look for it… LOL

  • The average man gets around seven erections a day. Sadly, five of those are in his sleep.

Sadly?  Just means we women get the occasional chance to catch our breath.

  • The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph.

Is that why it hurts so much when it hits you in the eye?  And really, how and WHY did they measure this?  Yet again, our precious tax dollars at work…

  • Sex is healthy. There's more protein in the average ejaculation than there is in a medium-sized pork chop.

But spunk doesn’t come with a side of mashed potatoes!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Are You My Friend?

LOL  And suddenly, I'm having a flashback... Hey Lady, wanna be my friend (Dakota, do you have ANY idea how far back I had to go to FIND that post???)?

Anyway, ever have some sort of news that's so cool, so important, or just makes you so giddy inside that you can't keep it to yourself?  Yeah, me too, but have you ever run into that phenomenon of not really having anyone to tell?

I mean, I HAVE people to tell, but I'm not so sure that anyone really cares.  They'll be polite and tell me they care, but they just don't get it.  Ever.  And I can see the odd looks they give me when I start to gush about whatever it is that has me so excited.

And so I am sad.  I never honestly thought I was so far off the beaten path that no one would like ever get what makes me so happy.  But there it is.  I guess it's a good thing that most of my friends are such good liars.  LOL

Oh well.  I guess I'll go cuddle up with my hopes and my dreams and keep it to myself since not even the ones I know that love me more than anything (Z, S, P & M) really understand.  Although they do get it... sorta.

~TCBL (you figure out what the 'B' stand for in there) 

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Sad But True + a Whine

First, the whine.  I got an e-mail from Blake Shelton’s website last night saying that if I pre-ordered his new CD (due out Oct. 18th!!!!) from iTunes, that I’d get like three bonus songs, a digital booklet, and a video, blah blah blah.  I thought long and hard about it because it was $11.99 and I’m sure Best Buy will have it for $9.99 the week it releases.  Well, after thinking about it all night, I figured what the heck and decided to pre-order it at work this morning.

ONLY TO DISCOVER THAT IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE ON iTUNES!  What the hell?  GRRR!  I’m hoping that it’s just some glitch and I’ll be able to get it tonight or tomorrow… but WAH!  LOL

Okay, and now, on to the real point of this blog.  Ever have a really special person in your past?  One you don’t think of often, but sometimes a certain song, or a certain place will make you think of them?  I have one.  He was my first boyfriend and one of my dearest friends, up until the drugs got to him.  And man, did I love that boy.

Driving to work this morning, I was sick of my CD’s and took a risk on listening to the radio – something I don’t generally do because, well, FM radio sucks and I haven’t gotten my XM hooked back up in my new truck yet.  So, having run out of options on the radio, I went back to the beginning and landed on KOMP, our local rock station.  They were doing their Morning Metallica, something they apparently do every morning.  So, having been a metal head in my youth, I stopped to see what they’d pull out of the vault. 

That’s what made me think of Paulo (and stop laughing, you know who you are… I dislike using real names!).  He’d moved to town my sophomore year from backwoods Arizona.  He was dark skinned with these beautiful golden brown curls and a killer smile.  And now I disappoint myself… I want to remember his eyes as blue-green, but somehow I think they had to have been brown… he was very proud of his heritage – telling everyone he was a Mexican Indian, and correcting them LOUDLY if they just called him a Mexican. 

He was my kind of guy – he broke all the stereotypes and surprised you at every turn.  He was a good student – smart, a quick thinker, and enjoyed learning.  Yet, he loved his video games (see a pattern here yet?), loved his D&D (again, pattern?), and most of all – he loved his music.  Loud, hard, and obnoxious (and there’s a joke in there somewhere but our relationship never got that far so I can’t accurately make it LOL).  He was sweet, he was kind, he was the most fun I think I’d ever had.

And, I suppose, he was my first love.

Paulo and a friend, Jacob, stood in line for Jacob’s then girlfriend to buy Garth Brooks tickets.  Bored, they started a mosh pit at Thomas & Mack.  LOL  Only those two.  Amusingly enough, Jacob took me on my first date my freshman year.  To Olive Garden and the tractor pulls. LOL

No Jacob, I swear I did NOT slam the door in your face, either!  Not that you’re reading this, but I know you’re out there, just on the other side of this city than I.

My first kiss came from Paulo, on the front lawn of my high school where we’d sit and have lunch every day.  I was so sad when he left school, he had such a future, but things weren’t good for him, living away from his family and relying on others.  It was his downfall, I suppose. 

The last time I saw him was three years ago for our mutual friend’s funeral.  I saw him and, truth be told, Zan pointed him out to me.  I was shocked at how tall he’d grown.  But he was still the same person, physically.  He looked right at me and either didn’t see me or didn’t recognize me.  Jacob did, however, and grasped me and refused to let go.  It was a beautiful thing, and not even Zan complained. 

And now that I’m writing this, I wonder… my favorite musician has dark brown curls and a killer smile…

~A very thoughtful Crazy Lady

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Tagged…

Rottie_Mom tagged me today and now I’ve gotta rack my brain to see if I actually KNOW six people…

The RULES (LOL):

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Post the rules on your blog.

3. Write six random things about yourself.

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.

5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Hmmm 6 random things about me....

1. I write for fun and stress relief and my favorite character (Ali, whom I may have to tag in desperation) has been with me since I was 10.

2. I just got a new winter white hamster last night and we named her Destiny.

3. The only thing that comes close to rivaling my collection of books is my collection of CD’s.

4. Cooking is my favorite way to relax, although lately finding something that my entire family agrees on is a chore.

5. Tie-dye is my sport of choice.

6. I’m not very random.  I think entirely too much, which is probably why I suffer from so much anxiety.  LOL

I’m a-tagging… Redheaded Mama, Cali Girl, Cyndi-Lu, Beth Kery, Robyn, and Selena

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Destiny Calls...

Many of you may know that about three weeks ago, we lost our dwarf black Russian hamster, Sasha.  She'd been ill and suffering with a tumor.  Poor baby had a seizure and passed.  Since then, the girls have been begging for another hamster and Zan keeps saying NO.  And it doesn't matter how much I bat my eyes at him..

So, today he gets kicked out so his boss can go vote (he works out of his boss' house) and he CALLS me to tell me that he went to the PET STORE and found the cutest hamster. 

THEN the jerks SENDS it to me.  *sigh*  This little baby is pure white with just a hint of grey here and there.  I couldn't tell if she was another Campbell's or if she was a Winter White (which I have recently read are different breeds).  I ooh and ahh and he laughs at me. 

Being the loving man that he is, he says he'll call and find out how late that pet store is open, and also ask if they can hold her for us as well.  I think that maybe, finally, we might get another hamster.  I mean, after all, we ONLY have four pets, right Mischief?

Anyway, so I come home and find Sasha's old cage sitting on the kitchen counter.  I'm like YEAH!  He's going to go for it!  And that's when I notice there's something... in the cage.

Would you believe that he went BACK to the pet store to get this little fluffy ball of fur for us?  He won't admit it, but I think he fell in love with our new little family member the minute he saw her.  He even admitted to holding her, something he rarely did with Sasha or Butterfinger, our resident hamster-gone-Guinea pig. 

So, enough rambling.  Meet Destiny.

PB040002

She's a curious and active little thing, about jumped out of my hand the first time I held her.

PB040006

And for some odd reason, she'd rather lay beside or behind her house instead of in it.  But whatever, as long as she's happy, right?

PB040002_01

And don't forget to check out my sidebar - I added pictures of Cali, my freak cat, and Darby, our 14-year old kitty, as well.  Need to get a good one of Tiger - his eyes always turn either red or gold on me.  And look at the bottom of the blog too... LOL 

~The Crazy Hamster Lady

Monday, November 3, 2008

Oh Boy…

Am I ever in trouble then… my Kitchen Aid gets a weekly workout. LOL

(Click for full strip)

Ca081103

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

And Then...

...my legs went, "Faloomp."  I swear.  And I'll explain in a bit.

First of all, I'm such a fuckhead, it isn't even funny.  I read something earlier today and it so enraged me that it consumed my thoughts for a good hour and a half today.  I mean, it was so full of hatred, bigotry, and prejudice that it made me sick.  So I fumed.

Yeah, I know.  Obsess much there, Amy?

So, after reading and then venting to a group of online (and a couple real-life) friends, I started to feel better.  And not just about the thing I read, but also about everything that's been bothering me lately.  Can't honestly say that I'm 'better' but I think I'm going to be okay.  Who knew that anger could be so cleansing?

Well, actually, I DID know that, a good yell always makes me feel better.  LOL

Anyway, I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home for some things and found myself thinking about it all again.

And that's when it happened.

Yes Miss D, then my legs went 'falooomp'.  And you know, I wear bright freaking orange sneakers, you'd think I'd SEE those size 10 rockets down at the bottom of my legs.  But noooooo, I can't be that observant.  I have to trip over the damn things RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SELF CHECKS!  LOL  Oh well.  They know me there.  Not like it's the first time. 

But on the bright side, I got home today and discovered the cute card my dear friend Robin sent me had arrived.  And ya know what?  It's just as cute as she said!  Thanks babe!

~TCL

To God: From the Dog

From your friendly, neighborhood heathen, but I couldn’t resist.  Just too much truth in all of it.

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG



Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?


Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?


Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?


Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, c lickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?


Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

_________________________________
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.


1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.


2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.


3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.


4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.


5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff..


6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.


7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.


8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .


9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.


11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Stupid Office Equipment

Yeah, you heard me, The Self-Proclaimed Queen of the Office Supply Stores, I have stupid office equipment.

I mean, really.  I have a defective stapler.  Dumb thing keeps stapling the wrong pages together.

I know!  Right?

*sighs*

However, they keep hinting that it might be my fault.  I say PHOOEY ON YOUEY!

~The Crazy Stapler Lady (wishing J was here to read this suddenly)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Happy Halloween!

Errr... almost.  LOL

And Blake's taken a temporary vacation.  He'll be back soon, I promise.  LOL

The only bitch I have is that I lost all my fun sidebar stuff.  GRRR... Oh wells.  I'll have to fix them again later. 

~TCL

(who, by the way, changed Ali's layout as well... it's here.)

Kids, Carrie, and NKOTB

So, at this point, most of you know that I have two kids.  Two girls, 6 and 8.  And I love my kids, they are the light of my life and 99.9% of the time, they are GOOD KIDS.  I have no real complaints about them.  They do well in school, they listen, they behave.  That said, they are still a handful.  Even good, helpful kids are a lot of work.

My girls love to watch Jon and Kate + 8.  And if you’re not in the know as far as that show goes, Jon and Kate got married, got pregnant, and had twins.  A couple years later, they decided they wanted one more and wound up with sextuplets.  EEEK!  But okay, I understand that.  I think they had fertility treatments both times, but I could be wrong there.

And as much fun as it is to watch that show, it’s also nice for us normal parents to know that we’re not alone when we lose it completely. LOL  Well, now TLC has started a new show featuring the Duggars.  You know, that couple with the 17 kids?  And one more on the way?

Now THAT disturbs me.  I mean, how do you do that financially?  My husband and I both have good jobs and make decent money and yet, we still struggle.  I know Jon & Kate get help from their church, their community, etc, but they didn’t do this intentionally.  There’s was more like a major OOOOPS.  LOL  I mean, when is enough enough?  When do you finally step up and say, “We can’t do this anymore?”  And my gods… how do they keep their sanity?  I swear, I wanted to lock BOTH of mine in a closet this weekend and not because they were bad… they just would NOT STOP TALKING!  LOL

Any thoughts?

Okay, I just had to add this one little bit… on my way into work this morning, I was actually listening to the regular radio, not something I normally do.  However, one of our local stations was talking to Carrie Underwood, so I thought I’d listen.  I’m not a huge Carrie fan, but what the heck, right?  Well, near the end of the interview, she mentioned she was going to a New Kids on the Block concert.  I about died laughing.  Is Carrie even OLD enough to be a New Kids fan?  My gods… 

Although, I have to admit, there’s something rather amusing about driving down Las Vegas Boulevard, aka The Strip, blasting “Last Name” and rocking out at 7 AM.

Oh oh oh oh oh… You got it, the right stuff…

Friday, October 24, 2008

Ahh… It’s a GOOD DAY

Yeah, I know… after that post I made yesterday… LOL  Sorry about that.  I have my mood swings.

Anyway, when I got home yesterday, I discovered I had two books on my wish list at PaperbackSwap that had become available.  The first is Moongazer by Marianne Mancusi.  The other is The Tightwad Gazette II by Amy Dacyczyn.  I’m pretty excited and will most likely post more about them on my book blog so that I don’t bore the non-readers out there.

But what has me most excited?  This:

Are you laughing yet, because I am!  Well, actually, I’m giggling like a little girl, truth be told.  See, this was my VERY favorite cartoon as a kid and once the DVD’s were released in 2004, they’ve not been re-released so finding them is nothing short of a miracle.  Well, unless you want to play about $100 per set.  And um, well… I can’t afford that.  So, that’s where SwapaDVD comes in and makes me very, very happy.   

So, anyway… I highly recommend PaperbackSwap, SwapaCD, and SwapaDVD.  Pssst… and shameless plug here… if you decide to join… tell ‘em asphaltcowgrrl@yahoo.com referred you.  *G* 

~Your rather stoked Crazy Lady singing… “They fight for freedom wherever there’s trouble.  G. I. Joe is theeeeeeeeeeerrre…”

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Had it

Yup.  I’m done.

Pissed off a co-worker because I couldn’t get him what he needed because I don’t know where it is.  Why don’t I know where it is?  Because no one will show me, they just tell me I don’t need to know or reply with, “I’ll get it for you.”  God forbid I ever actually NEED this information in the future. 

However, said co-worker didn’t want to hear any of this.  WTFever.

!cid_X_MA1_1224737254@aol

Yeah, what the avatar said.  Not ever found anything quite so close to the truth as that.  This past week or so, I’ve given up on trying so hard.  I bust my ass in everything I do and I get nowhere.  I pretend to be happy and exuberant because it’s what’s expected of me.  Does anyone care the toll it takes on me to put on such a show?  Of course not.  They just come down on me that much harder when I can’t put on my happy face any longer. 

!cid_X_MA1_1224737551@aol

But I digress.  I didn’t mean to get on a self-pity kick, I was just needing to vent about something I had no control over.  I don’t understand why I’m always expected to have the answer to every single question.  I really, honestly don’t.  But I am.  And it sucks because I get no bonus by having the answers and get nothing but heartache when I don’t.  How fair is that?

I need a life.  And I honestly wish I had someone to talk to.  Poor Zan gets his ear bent entirely too often.  He’s a good sport about it, but still.  He can only take so much.  And I love him too much to drive him away with my whining.  LOL

Ah, well… such is life, right?  I’ll get past it, I always do.

~A distraught and despondent Crazy Lady

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

50 Odd Things

Yeah... more avoidance therapy.  So sue me.

1. Do you like blue cheese?  Yes'm!

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?    UM HELL NO

3. Do you own a gun? No, but Ali does.

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?  Don't normally drink soda, but I will make an exception for their cherry limeade!

5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments? Not usually.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?  Yummy!

7. Favorite Christmas Song.   It's a tie - Little Drummer Boy and Leroy the Redneck Reindeer

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Tequila.

9. Can you do push ups?   Yuppers.  Ali is better though.

10. Do you believe in God, Jesus and the holy spirit?    Yes, but I also believe that He is not the only One.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry you wear?  My wedding rings and my pentacle set with a traitorous moonstone.

12. Favorite hobby?  Heh.  Heh.  Heh...

13. Do you work with people who idolize you?   Not freaking likely.  Can't even get them to turn the A/C down!  LOL

14. Do you have A.D.D.?   No.  Yes.  Wait, let me... HEY!  Look, a bookstore!

15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself?  Lack of confidence and self esteem.

16. Middle name?  Suzanne

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.  My feet are cold.  I think Ali needs to do this too.  I wonder where I put those Reese's Pieces I hid from Zan and Mika...

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Iced mocha, Diet Mt. Dew, and a little more time...

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, water, and tequila..

20. Current worry right now?   Zan's health.

21. Current hate right now?  I try not to hate anything, but Zan's diabetes right now is getting close... LOL

22. Favorite place to be?  With my children and family

23. How did you bring in the New Year? Huh?  You expect me to be UP at that time of night?

24. Where would you like to go?  Gimme a ticket anywhere but here...

25. Name three people who will complete this.  No eye deer.

26.  Whose answer do you want to read the most?  I want to read everyone's

27. What color shirt are you wearing?   Green since Ali has invaded my brain...

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?   Depends who's sleeping with me.. (that was Ali's influence, not mine!)

29. Can you whistle? Yes

30. Favorite color(s)? Blue, green and purple

31. Would you be a pirate?    Nah

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?  Whatever is on the radio

33. Favorite girl's name?  Allyson (that WAS me)

34. Favorite boy's name?  Dakotah (surprised it wasn't Blake?)

35. What's in your pocket right now?   Lint

36. Last thing that made you laugh?  Zan and his buddies playing video games

37. Best bed sheets as a child?  Holly Hobbie!

38. Worst injury you've ever had?  Broken nose.

39. Do you love where you live?  It's a nice little place...

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?   2

41. Who is your loudest friend?   Sarah

42. How many dogs do you have?  None unless you count the stuffed ones.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?  God help them if they do.

44. What is your favorite food?   Berries

45. What is your favorite snack food?  Popcorn.

46. What is your favorite candy?   Plain ol' regular M&M's.

47. What is your favorite sports team?  Chicago Cubs!  For better or for worse!

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?  T-R-O-U-B-L-E by Travis Tritt

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?  Sleeping, duh!

50. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?   What the hell was with that dream anyway?

Blogathon and Avoidance Therapy

Way back in early October, I had posted the first three chapters of Code Red 2 on Mika’s Blog.  Then I went on vacation.  And then I didn’t blog… LOL

So, anyway… I got a few more chapters up, some of which are new (to tie things together better).  There’s also a new short up there that was inspired by a conversation my best friend and I had on our drive home from Tombstone, while the kids were sound asleep. LOL  It’s an extremely emotional and personal piece, and I almost didn’t post it.  But there it is, for better or worse.  Not going to actively share it ANYWHERE simply for that reason.  If you stumble upon it, great.  If not?  No big deal.  It’s a bit of healing for my soul, nothing more, nothing less.

And now you’re probably wondering why all the blogging, right?  Well, I’m using it as avoidance therapy.  Concentrating on my writing and avoiding everything else. LOL  Not very healthy, I know, but I don’t know what else to do at the moment.  I mean, seriously… what do I do?  I’m bored to death with everything that ever once brought me happiness.  My Yahoo groups, PSP, reading… none of it is doing a thing to lift my mood or make me happy.  About the only thing that hasn’t failed me lately has been my writing.  I’m guessing that’s a good thing because it was always my salvation in my time of need.

With that in mind, working through whatever has recently come over me since Sasha’s death has been more difficult.  I’m sure that if I forced myself to get back in and be involved with things, I’d heal faster, but I just can’t find the strength or motivation.  I’ll pull through eventually, I always do.  Don’t have any choice, really – too many people depending on me these days to do otherwise.  So, until then, I’ll keep writing and blogging my little fingers off because, well, blogging is just online journaling and journaling is good, right?

Hell, who knows?  LOL

~TCL, Knee-deep in Ali’s messed-up love life

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Okay, Where Can I Get One?

Zi081021

Nighttime Debates

...aren't what they used to be.

Last night, I dreamt that our 'representative' was speaking to one of the Presidential candidates and asked, "Yes, but do you know where the water heater is?"

Ummmmmm... I think I seriously need to get out of the plumbing business.

~TCL

Monday, October 20, 2008

Barefoot Mommy Reviews

Come check out this new blog (http://barefoot-mommy.blogspot.com/) where Krissy reviews products, finds freebies, and has lots and lots of giveaways.  Go check her out and give her some lurve!  She's just starting out and would love your support.

~TCL

Song of the Day ~ What I Need to Do

Normally, I’d post this on my music blog, but today, I feel like putting it up here.  I can’t help but think this is just how I’m feeling today.

What I Need To Do :
(Bill Luther/Tom Damphier)
I keep tellin' myself this is the right thing to do
I was wastin' her time, waitin' on dreams that just weren't comin' true
And this old highway seems to understand
Leadin' me on to somewhere that no one knows my name
I got the window rolled down, I got the radio up
I'm doin' all that I can to get my mind off us
What I need to do is turn this car around
Drive as fast as I can 'til I see the lights of our hometown
And run to her, take her in my arms
Make her see how sorry I am, well that shouldn't be so hard
But I drive on, and on, and on
Eighty-seven more miles gets me into Baton Rogue
There's a buddy of mine who says he might find some work that I can do
Or maybe head up north to Knoxville, Tennessee
I know my baby sister, has got a couch where I can sleep
Now the sun's goin' down on my broken heart
Lord, I gotta get back before I get too far
What I need to do is turn this car around
Drive as fast as I can 'til I see the lights of our hometown
And run to her, take her in my arms
Make her see how sorry I am, well that shouldn't be so hard
But I drive on
Yes I drive on, and on, and on
Knowin' what I need to do
Girl, I'm comin' home to you
Knowin' what I need to do
Girl I'm comin' home to you
I'm comin' home to you
Knowin' what I need to do

Sunday, October 19, 2008

AAAAAAAAAAAH! (aka Blake & Miranda)

Okay, let me say two things before I go any farther:

#1: I'm so ticked I didn't take my camera!  Said on the website no recording equipment (which 99.9% of the time includes digital cameras and I've had them check cameras before) but no one was even LOOKING!  GRRRRR!

#2: When Blake came out and said, "I'm not gonna lie, I've been drinking." I think he was understating  he laughed at some point during darn near every song he sang.  LOL  But that's why I lurve him so much.

Due to a series of unfortunate events (LOL), I wound up going to the concert with a co-worker's wife.  I like D, she's a great lady, so I was looking forward to it.  The only thing I wasn't looking for was the 45-minute drive to get to the venue.  We arrived with about an hour before the show started. We got a drink, bought a shirt and got our seats.

MirandaLambert1

So, Miss Miranda came out first.  Started her set off with "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" and rocked out from there.  She played for about 30 minutes before asking us if we wanted to see her 'cute boyfriend Blake Shelton'.  Ummmm... DUH!  Why'd ya think I was here, blondie?  LOL

I have to say this much however, I was really impressed with her.  This was my first time seeing Miranda and I was worried  darn near every time I've seen her perform on TV - for whatever reason - she's sounded like crap. Don't know if it was nerves or what.  But, last night, she sounded amazing!  She's as bad as Eddie Montgomery however and doesn't stand still for two seconds. LOL

home_02-x600 Next, it was time for my man.  Yeaaah...  This was my fourth time seeing Blake, so I sorta knew what to expect from his show.  However, you never really know what to expect out of HIM.  I couldn't even tell you what he started his set off with... how bad is that?  However, he put on his typically amazing show, laced with lots of humor and great music.  He really knows how to work a crowd.  To start his set off, he appears at the top of the stage, at the head of a set of stairs.  "I'm not gonna lie to you, I'll tell you the truth.  I've been drinking tonight.  And I'm gonna walk my big a$$ down these stairs and by the time I get to the bottom, ya'll better be raisin' hell."  LOL  Which reminds me, he started off with "The More I Drink".  See?  I'm not that bad!

80678666_10-x600At the end of his set, he 'asked' us if he could bring Miranda back out and do a small acoustic set.  They'd wanted to make this a part of the show because, as Blake said, "This is what we do at home, sitting around the campfire.  That and making out, but we're not gonna do that here."  Good thing, too.  I promised Zan I wouldn't get arrested.  LOL  So, she starts off with her newest single, "More Like Her".  Of all the songs on her "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" album, I think I probably like this one the least, but she really did it justice last night acoustically.  Sounded better than the CD!  Blake then went into one of MY favorite songs, noting it as Miranda's favorite as well - "Don't Make Me".  For the finale, they performed a Conway Twitty/Loretta Lynn duet, "Feelins". 

SHNS_MusicBeat02_5a_eMiranda returned after that for her second and final set.  She finished up with "Kerosene" one of my favorites of hers.  She did a great job of including all her hits - "Kerosene", "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend", "Gunpowder and Lead", "Me and Charlie Talkin'", "Famous in a Small Town" as well as a few off her latest album ("Desperation") and her first as well ("Bring Me Down").  Mixed all that up with a few older cover songs ("Cripple Creek" and "Stay With Me") and a lot of high energy.  You can tell she has a great relationship with her band and it really shows in their stage show.

BLAKE SHELTON 2007_0610-0051Blake returned to the stage for his final set next.  He as well did a great job of stuffing all his hits into such a short show.  "Austin", "The Baby", "Some Beach", and my *cough* personal favorite, "Playboys of the Southwestern World" were among the few of his best.  He also included his newest single. "She Wouldn't Be Gone" as well.  Love that song!  (Note to Shana: He did Playboys and SWBG back-to-back, just for you)  Blake wound up his final set, but since he hadn't performed "Home", I knew he'd be back out.  And sure enough, there he comes... with Miranda in tow.  They did a beautiful version of the song, but I still had to laugh.  He was perched on a stool; she stood beside him.  He was still taller.  LMAO!

Blake_Camo_GuitarBlake switches out guitars and then starts harassing his roadie.  "Hey you, what did you just say to me?  Yeah, you!  What's your name?" And so it goes... he gets the roadie up there to talk and then Blake calls him on the carpet - tells the audience that the roadie handed him his guitar and said, "Anyone can do this."  So, Blake gives him a guitar and lets him go.  Blake has his guitar player start 'the easiest song he knows' and the guy - Mark - starts with "The Joker" and moves into "Angel of the Morning".  The majority of the time, Blake's sitting on the drum riser, looking aggravated and despondent.  Finally, he's had enough - he takes his guitar away and stomps off stage.  I'm dying laughing at this point - not ever seen anything like this at a Blake concert, but it so didn't surprise me.  He eventually comes back out onto stage and then I really WAS shocked - his guitarist goes into the opening notes of The J. Geils Band's "Centerfold"!  Oh.  Mah.  Gawd!  LOL  Blake is proud of saying he's stuck in the 80's but I think that song is older than Miranda! 

lambertAs Blake's finishing up his rockin' countrified version of "Centerfold", Miranda struts back out onto stage and points him to the stairs, making him sit and watch her as she launches into a very well-done version of Joan Jett's "I Love Rock 'N' Roll".  Now, I have tears in my eyes because Blake is playing the petulant little boy, rolling his eyes, making faces, what have you, while Miranda performs.  Once she finishes, he stands up and says, "Can we do something together that doesn't make me look like a complete moron?"  She looks (way) up at him as says, "What do you mean by 'something'?"  He looks desperately over his shoulder at his band and whimpers, "Just play something.  Please?  Just play something!"  LOL  Awww, poor Blake!  The start into a really rocking number that I didn't recognize, but was a great way to end the show.

Again, I'm really, really impressed with Miranda's performance.  Her voice was strong and clear all night.  Blake not only held to the standard I have for him, but surpassed it with his humor and goofiness.  But then, I'm just a *tad* bit partial on this subject.  LOL  I have to say though that, even if you only like one or the other, if you have a chance to see the two of them together, it's really worth it! 

D and I headed back into town after the show and met up with her husband at IHOP for breakfast.  Mmm... pumpkin pancakes. LOL  Got home and crashed.  It was five hours past my bedtime by that point!  Yeah, I know, I'm sad aren't I?

This can't be good...

~Your Crazy Blake-Addicted Lady after her yearly dose of Pure BS            

Saturday, October 18, 2008

To Better Days

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So, after much frustration and hassle (and more than a few tears), I get to go to my concert tonight after all.  I'm so excited, I love my Blake like you wouldn't believe, but I'm also so very disappointed that Zan can't come along with me.  I know that I will have a blast with the lady I am going with - she cracks me up every time I talk to her - but I think you know what I mean.  Sometimes the best things are those shared with your honey.

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I'm totally stoked for more than one reason about this concert.  I found out recently that he and Miranda Lambert are only doing a few of these shows, and I get to go to one!  LOL  I can see those of you who know me out there laughing.  Yeah, so, I DO like her music.  Often think her attitude needs adjusting, but I try not to let things like that get in the way of the important stuff - the MUSIC!  And I'm also looking forward to hearing some of the new stuff off Blake's upcoming CD, Starting Fires, due out November 21st, I believe.  Miranda's next CD won't be out until next year some time.  (Hey Joolz, didja notice the camo guitar???)

 sheltySo, I will leave you for now since I can hear my children thundering down the stairs.  I swear, I never dreamed that a 40lb child could be so LOUD on the stairs!  Can't take my camera because it says 'no recording equipment' and since most digital cameras these days take videos... *sigh*  So, you'll have to make due with whatever pics I can find on the 'net of my baby.  Although, I think this one here says it all. LOL  Gotta love a man who isn't afraid to make a fool of himself.  :)

Have a good weekend, I think that I might finally be able to.

~The Crazy Blakey Lady

Friday, October 17, 2008

Send the Hate Mail

HERE.  What's that?  The link's broken?  Ohhhhh nooooo... Can't complain then.  LOL  And just so you can see how lame I am, I bolded and italicized my favorites. LOL

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt.  The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".

John Hurt walks into a bar, with that alien emerging from his chest.  The bartender asks, "What's gotten into you?"

A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve your type here!"

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "Can I help you?" The duck says, "Yeah, you can get this guy off my butt!"

A corn stalk walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wanna hear a good joke?" The corn stalk says, "I'm all ears!"

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want a long neck?" The giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want to play a game? See those two rib-eyes nailed to the ceiling? You get to throw one dart. If you hit one, you get to take them home and I'll give you a free drink." The man says, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."

A guy walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, "Can I have a bag of helicopter flavor chips?" The barkeep says, "Sorry, we only have plain."

A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!"

A soccer ball walks into a bar. The bartender kicked him out.

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

A giraffe walks into a bar. "High balls are on me!"

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

A leprechaun walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says, "That'll be $2.50." The leprechaun puts two dollar bills on the bar and starts walking away. The barkeep shouts, "You're a little short!"

A man walks into a bar. OUCH! You would have thought he would have seen it!

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and the mushroom says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."

A horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. The bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. A guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender "Hey, what's that all about?" The bartender replies, "Don't take it personally, he never says 'Hi' to anyone."

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not", then disappeared.

A Kabbalist walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

An amnesiac comes into a bar. He asks, "Do I come here often?"

John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

A pony walks into a bar and coughs, "Hey, COUGH. Gimme a bu COUGH a beer COUGH. The bartender serves him and says, "What's with your voice?" The pony says, "Nothing, I'm just a little hoarse."

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"

An old lady walks into a bar with a duck under her arm. A scraggly old drunk staggers over, takes one look, and says, "Jeeeez, that's the UGLIEST thing I ever saw!" The woman turns her nose up at him and says, "This happens to be a stately creature! Go away, you horrid man!" The old drunk yells, "Lady, I was talkin' to the duck!"

A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they're extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man turns around and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?" The rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

A man runs into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Give me ten shots of your best whisky." The bartender sets up the ten glasses. The man starts drinking them as quickly as the bartender serves them. The bartender asks, "Why are you drinking so fast?" "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I have." The bartender asks, "What do you have?" "Seventy cents."

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, "For you, no charge!"

A woman goes into a bar and asks for a "double entendre". So the bartender gave her one.

A pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them up and the bartender says, "Don't you need to know where the bathroom is?"  The pig says, "No, I go wee wee all the way home."

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?" The bartender asks, "I don't know, what does he look like?"

A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here, you know." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

A hamburger walks into a bar and the bartender  says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A bear walked into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer......and some of those peanuts." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?"

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, you're not." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it."  He walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A goldfish walks into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish  says, "Water."

Shakespeare walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. "I can't serve you." says the bartender. "You're Bard!"

A man walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?". The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog and the dog bites him. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. This isn't my dog."

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "No, I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

A cowboy walks into a bar. Upon leaving, he realizes that someone has painted his horse. The cowboy yells, "Which one of you painted my horse?" A seven foot tall hulk of a man says, menacingly, "I did." The cowboy realizes he is in trouble and replies, "Why, thank you - the first coat's dry!"

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!" The man replies, "No, I can't read the sign - I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: "I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!" The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, "The sign says no dogs allowed! You'll have to leave!" The friend says, "Sorry, I can't see the sign because I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender replies, "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?" The man says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

(This joke never gets old)

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."

A little guy walks into a bar and slips on some vomit. Minutes later a tough guy walks into the bar and slips on the vomit as well. The little guy says, "I just did that." The big guy then beats the little guy up.

A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer, and a mop."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a woman at the end of the bar. The man says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer and I'd like to buy a drink for the douchebag at the end of the bar. The bartender says, "OK, but you shouldn't talk to a woman like that." The bartender asks the woman what she would like. The woman says, "I'll have a vinegar and water."

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A brain walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. The barman says, "I'm not serving you, you're out of your skull!"

A professor walks into a bar and orders a double martinous. The bartender says, "you mean a double martini?" The professor says, "If I want more than one I'll ask for it."

A crow walks into a bar wearing a pearl necklace. He orders a drink. "I've never seen a crow wearing a pearl necklace before", says the barkeep. "What do you expect with basic black?", says the crow.

An Irishman walks out of a bar. Hey, it COULD happen!

A snake walks into a bar. Waaaa?

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

A Newfie walks into a bar, on the stool next to him is some footwear.  The says to the bartender, "What's this - a boot?"

Rough Week

Well, I knew it was going to be a long week when it started.  I came home Sunday afternoon after being gone for four days, that’s always a sure sign that things are going to be out of order.  I was pleasantly surprised when I came home to find the house clean and the laundry done!  Although, Zan admits that Princess showed him how. LOL

With Zan’s looming surgery, I knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle the concert on Saturday so I had asked my sister.  Yesterday afternoon, she sends me an e-mail telling me she can’t make it.  I had no one else to go with and was extremely sad to know that I wasn’t going to get to see my Blake.  However, my luck turned around and one of my co-workers talked to his wife and she’ll be going with me.  Yay!  I do like her and we are a lot alike, so it should be fun.

To make things worse, last night/this morning, around 12:30, Zan comes to bed and tells me that Sasha, my dwarf hamster, is acting strange.  I go downstairs and find her huddled on the floor of her cage.  I take her out and hold her and she starts shaking and kicking out one of her front legs.  I sat and held her for a long time.  I knew she was dying. 

I put her back into her cage and tried to make her as comfortable as possible.  After, I went back to bed and laid there, crying, most of the night.  This morning, when I got up, she was gone.  The girls took it well, but hard.  They loved our little Sashy Pants as much as I did.  Mischief is already asking if we can have another.  LOL

I feel horrible, but poor Sasha has been sick for awhile.  She had a recurring issue with her pouch getting impacted.  On our second trip to the vet, he discovered a tumor.  I knew it was only a matter of time then.  So, we loved on her as much as possible and did what we could.  I hope she can say she was loved and had a good life. 

The only good news this week is that Zan is recovering well from his surgery yesterday.  The doctor said he was doing well and we didn’t spend more than a few hours at the hospital.  He goes back on Wednesday for a check-up and hopefully all is well.  No pictures to document the process since he wouldn’t let me near him with the camera yesterday. LOL  But, I do have a couple of my little furry baby to share in memory.

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Sasha_s